Checking out a guy
After one drink:
After several:
A survivor is someone who continues to laugh, smile, and live, despite their inward and outward struggle. <3
Safety blanket. He’s mine, I’m his.
It’s comforting, being able to watch my boyfriend sleep. As creeperish as that sounds, it’s not, because this is one time where I get to see him completely at peace with his demons. During the day I see his problems, his worry…what someone else made him believe, what someone else made him think of himself. I don’t see the damage that a heartless soul caused because let’s face it, even when you’re completely past someone, the emotional toll they left can still creep up and bite you. I don’t see the damage that my body’s inability created that hurt us both, back when I had a physical issue that resulted in a massive loss for us. And the things that he’s ever only told me about, not any previous girlfriends, not friends. But that all disappears when he sleeps. I see the man that I love, peaceful, and I can’t even begin to imagine how someone could not love him. How someone could want to hurt him. He’s the first completely genuine soul I’ve ever met. He’d do anything for me, for anyone he loved, and I know that has caused him to be used for said reasons by little girls before. But I’m woman enough to appreciate him. To love him wholeheartedly. Which is why I’m confident in the wedding date that we’ve set, where I have just over a year until I’m Mrs. Holcomb. Seeing him at such ease right now…it’s comforting to know that I’m the reason why he can rest so easy. I love seeing him without any worry in his head. I’ve rid him of his nightmares, and he’s rid me of mine. And now I have to cut this short, because I’m getting snuggled to death, which he’s notorious for while sleeping. But I’ve got a smile on my face as I curl up into his arms.
My depression takes a lot out of me. And for the past three months, I’ve all but lost myself in it. I don’t even know where to begin to climb my way out. I’m just stuck in this endless cycle. The nights were always the worst, but now the days are pretty bad, too.
